Men Get Abused too...

FOR MEN ONLY: Healing from Abusive Women

This is for the man who has been abused by women.

Growing up in a home with an abusive mother was no joke. I spoke about this in my blog, "The Silence of the Jackasses" that having to deal with an abusive mother everyday caused me to attract bullies. However, that was when I was 11 years old. I was able to change my inner dialogue to ward off bullies, but little did I know that there was more that I would have to change.

The fact of the matter is that men who were abused by women (especially at an adolescent age), will often attract those types of women throughout his life. Why? Because he's been programmed to accept the abusive behavior as being "normal" and he knows no different.

Society accepts when a kid stands up for himself and punches a male bully in the nose.

But what about females? That same child, especially if he grew up in the 80's and 90's was probably taught never ever to hit girls no matter what. It was written into him like computer code. He was programmed.

This is all well and good, but what happens when a girl decides to cause you unprovoked bodily harm on a regular basis? Are you allowed to defend yourself? Most times, not.

So whereas a boy can overcome his obstacles and successfully defend himself against other boys, he will not so easily be able to defend himself against girls.

If a boy ever hits a girl, he is often ridiculed by teachers and students of both sexes.

He is portrayed as being "less than a man" for defending himself from girls, even if he is being attacked without provocation.

Due to my small stature growing up and my reputation for being a "geek", boys and girls often harassed me.

Everyone was bigger than me.


I remember one day, I was running an errand for a teacher when I was attacked by a group of girls. They wanted my money. I only had a few quarters in my pocket, but that didn't stop them from surrounding me and forcibly trying to steal them. The ring leader stuck her hands into my pockets in an effort to rob me blind. I grabbed her by the shoulder and pushed her away because I had been taught not to hit girls.

She quickly punched me in the eye for touching her. She was wearing a rhinestone ring and the metal prongs sliced right through the tissue of my right eye socket. Another girl knocked me down and they took what few coins I had and fled.

I went to the principal's office to report the crime. I was commended by an administrator on my decision of not hitting them back. No one seemed to care that blood was dripping down the side of my face, or that each one of the "girls" were taller and outweighed me by at least 20lbs a piece.

They only cared that I didn't hit them back.

This only segmented my programming further:

No matter what a girl does, she is "right" and she deserves consideration. The sheer act of defending yourself against one is wrong. Taking abuse from a man makes you weak and you should fight back, but taking abuse from a woman makes you a "real man" and should be applauded.

Boys/Men = Bad. Girls/Women = Good.

Got it.

This is how many boys during that era were programmed.

Fast forward from the adolescent years. You are now in the dating world. Because your inner dialogue says, "It's okay for women to hit me." Guess what? You attract women who believe that it's okay to hit you.

And this isn't just about physical contact, the programming is so embedded that even arguing or disagreeing with a woman is forbidden.

If you had an abusive mother, you probably were trained at a young age to put her on a pedestal and worship her. But not for being a kind person, but for simply giving birth to you in the first place.

This creates a cycle.

Now let's Fast-forward a little further.

You are now a grown man. You still put abusive women on a pedestal and "worship" them. You believe that no matter what they do, they are still better than you simply because they are women.

One abusive woman mistreats you and you may breakup with her, but because of your "programming" all you do is attract another one...

and another...

and another.

The abuse can be physical or verbal. One woman may regularly hit you without provocation and later on another one may constantly berate you until your spirit is bruised and broken.

Abuse is Abuse, no matter the type.

No matter which type of abuser you get, one thing is always the same...there is no peace for you.

The abusive woman has a problem with everything you do all of the time. She is never to blame and everything is always your fault.

Every once in awhile you get the inkling to stand up for yourself...the flicker to fight back.

But you digress because your programming kicks in and tells you that you are wrong.

The programming is 20 years deep at this point and runs on automatic. You couldn't uproot it, even if you tried.

You are wrong because you are a man and she is right because she is a woman.
End of Story.

At this point, you are nothing more than a whipped dog, trained to obey. Trained to rollover on command. Trained to be mistreated and remain loyal at all costs. You beg for scraps from the table of respect and are appreciative for what little you receive.

She deserves more mercy and consideration than you, so just "let it go". Swallow your pride and just let her have her way, that's what a real man would do. That's what your father did right?

But no matter how many times you walk away, or take the peaceful route, there is always a fight waiting. There is no peace for you.

Eventually, you settle down with a woman because at this point you accept, "That all women are like that." and you will never ever do any better.

There is constant criticism, ridicule and possible physical violence. You don't hit her back, but that never stops her from hitting you.

You have children. Do you think your wife/girlfriend will only mistreat you? Nope. Abusers abuse everyone. Or better yet, abusers abuse those who are too weak or unwilling to fight back.

The fact of the matter is: She's going to mistreat your children right along with you.

If you have a son, then the cycle is complete. He had an abusive mother...odds are he will grow up and have an abusive wife just like you.

So this is why this message is only for men who have been abused by women.

You have been programmed and I will help you to remove that programming.

This subliminal message works in stages:

Stage 1.

Gives you self respect.

Let's you know on an internal level that you deserve respect and you don't have to take abuse from anyone or anything. This does not advocate hitting women, but it does advocate standing up for yourself in a powerfully verbal way.

Stage 2.

Helps you change the knee jerk reactions that you have been programmed to exhibit.

You can finally undo all of the damage that has been done to your psyche for years.

You will no longer feel the need to jump and obey when a woman screams at you.

You will become immune to abusive comments.

You will become nonchalant to toxic criticisms.

You will no longer feel the need to put women on a pedestal. (ie. no more worship.)

Stage 3.

Replaces negative thoughts with positive ones

After a man breaks free from an abusive woman, he is almost timid about pursuing other relationships. This will help you heal and not be afraid to pursue women for romantic interests.

Thus, you will become strong, more assertive and confident.

Bonus Stage 4.

Changes your inner dialogue so that you will no longer attract abusive women, but quality non-abusive women instead.

Some of the affirmations included in this message are:

It's okay not to allow women to hurt me.
I give myself permission to not allow women to hurt me.
I am an excellent person and I am worthy of respect.
I will not let anyone mistreat me.
Just the thought of approaching a beautiful woman makes me feel excellent and energetic.

These Affirmations work after just one night of use!