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HOW TO GET RID OF BULLIES

The Silence of the Jackasses: How One Scrawny Kid Stopped all of the Bullies


Bullies Suck.

Yep, that's right I said it.

Bullies are weak, simple-minded individuals who have no place in society.

If you ARE a bully and are reading this, GET OFF THIS PAGE. You are not welcome here.

However, if you have been bullied, (or currently being bullied) Continue reading. I am your Brother in Arms.

In this Politically Correct aka Soft Society, many people try to understand bullies and empathize with them. They try to figure out why these people from (kids to adults) prey upon seemingly weaker people.

Empathizers say things like: "Surely, they must have been abused as children...that's why they hurt others. We need to understand the bully...Love the bully. We need to help them understand that it's wrong and let them find another way to express themselves. It's a cry for help..."

I say Screw the Bullies. All of them.

Whether they are Young or Old, Children or Adults, Male or Female...

The only thing a bully needs to understand is your fist contacting his/her nose. Let them cry for help then.

I personally have no sympathy for Bullies whatsoever. You may be able to sense the anger in these words, but of course with everything on this site, I speak from a place of experience.

When I was younger, I was a victim of bullying quite often.

I was a small, quiet, scrawny kid with excellent grades. Of course, with those attributes alone you might as well have placed a huge target on my back.

I would get to school and be accosted verbally and/or physically from morning until afternoon.

This involved pushing, shoving, spitting, punching, kicking or just name-calling on a slow day.

The small, skinny kid walking through the halls with a stack of books dressed in "bargain-bin" clothes was nothing but a Christmas present to these fools.

The collective jeers as I shuffled my way to class sounded more like the brays of donkeys than actual children.

School would eventually end and I'd go home.

Then I would go home to a peaceful existence right? Wrong.

You see I was also the child of an abusive parent. While my father was at work, my mother would accost me verbally and/or physically at home as well. After contending with her behavior at home, I would be sent back to school.

The bullies would sense my open spiritual wounds like sharks picking up the scent of blood in the water.

They'd chastise me again one way or another and then mi madre would promptly pick up where they left off as soon as I got home.

It was an almost Endless Cycle of Night and Day/Day and Night.

With the lack of peace, you would think that I would have snapped and lashed out at others for a cry for help. I would have turned to committing petty crimes in my youth and causing undo harm to others right? Wrong. Nope, no such thing. Why? Because even at the age of 11, I was self aware enough to know that hurting innocent people (because I had been hurt) was wrong. "Why would I want to give an innocent person the same pain that had been given to me?" (You know that whole "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" thing.)

But for the life of me I always wondered, (back then and now)

How come no one else would ask themselves that same question?


If I could be abused and bullied on a regular basis and not become a bully myself, then it is completely controllable.

Simply put, Bullies become bullies because they WANT to. There is no greater reason. They do things because they know that they can get away with it. They then blame society because they do not want to take responsibility for their actions.

Someone who doesn't take responsibility for themselves is worthless.

Now were these other kids who spent their time picking on me, being abused themselves? Maybe, maybe not.

It is possible that they were, but NONE of that was my fault. Why should I be pained because of something that THEY were going through? Their plights had nothing to do with me nor should it have.

Just like I shouldn't have punished them for something that I was going through at home, they equally had NO right to do the same to me.

NOR SHOULD THE PLIGHT of the BULLY have anything to DO WITH YOU either. They are not concerned about your well-being, therefore you should not be concerned about theirs at all.

Everyday I would pray that the bullies would ignore me and leave me alone, but that would rarely happen.



You see, I was attracting the bullies. By being afraid of them and wishing they would go away, I was only bringing them closer. I needed to change my inner dialogue to change my outer reality. But more on this later...


What did happen one morning was that I had an abnormally large fallout with my mother and was promptly sent to school. As usual the smell of blood was still in the water, and I was sniffed out by one of my regular bullies. Let's call him "Donny".

Donny was a taller, husky kid with a chronic mocking grin and Yoda-like ears. He wasn't a very popular kid himself, but he would still chastise me whenever he could. He started in on me and I tried to do my normal, peaceful, safe, "I'm going to ignore you" routine. This involved pretending not to see or hear him and just walking away. This seemed to rile him up even more and he suddenly struck me in my face without warning.

I snapped.

What followed next was a flurry of punches from my fists to his face. Before it was all over he was on his knees in front of me, with one of my fists gripping his shirt collar and the other relentlessly pounding away into his eye and jaw.

We were eventually separated and by separated I mean most of the other boys had to gather en masse to rip me off of him. I remember being pulled backwards from him in slow motion.

One kid had my right fist along with my right elbow.
Another kid had my left fist and left shoulder.
Another kid had approached me from behind and grabbed my waist...all in an effort to stop the chaos.


I could see Donny with his heavy frame on all fours looking up at me, breathing heavily with one closed eye.

The look in the other eye was a mix of embarrassment, frustration, anger, and shock. He couldn't believe the storm that had just befallen him.

But one thing still bothered me.

He didn't look depressed enough.
He wasn't as demeaned as I had been...so therefore he wasn't quite...defeated.

He hadn't been broken...yet.

This enraged me.


As I was being pulled further from him with each passing microsecond, I realized my chances to hurt him further were diminishing. My fists were restrained, as were my hips. I couldn't punch him anymore, but I needed to. I had to strike him one final time...to finish it, the coup de grace.

Then I remembered, "Ahhhh, my feet!! My feet are still free!!"

I visualized him as a 100lb football and I reared back with my left foot and delivered an upward punt kick to his chest with all 80lbs of my body weight.

I caught him squarely in the ribs.

The sound of my bargain bin sneaker hitting his chest cavity sounded off with a deep, drum-like THUUUUUUUUUM.

Donny's face contorted. Where he had been on all fours trying to get up, he was knocked backwards into a full kneeling position. His look of surprise was replaced with utter pain as the shockwave rippled through his torso.

He then fell forward again and landed back on his hands. But where he was previously strong, his arms were now weak.

His face was red and water welled up in his eyes.

Mission Accomplished.



All of my punches up to this point had been a rattling chain of words in an otherwise beautiful run-on sentence.

The kick, was the "period".

The other children, who up to this point had been screaming in a euphoric frenzy that only a fight can cause, were silent for a full two seconds.

The Silence was Deafening.

Then their voices erupted again once more with a collective, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!"

Eyes shining with a combination of surprise and glee. Mouths shaped into toothy grins, partially covered by a solitary fist.

Their unison outcry could have been described as a Bay of Shock, fed from 4 different waterfalls, draining into an ocean of bliss:

Shock at how hard the kick was.
Shock at the quality entertainment that had just been provided.
Shock at how hard Donny had been hit.
Shock that it had all come from me, the neighborhood nerd.


Donny was taken to the principle's office. Luckily for me, the teacher had witnessed the entire chain of events and didn't find me at fault.

Victory was mine. However, I myself was in a frenzy of tears. When someone has been pushed past the brink of rage for the first time, they are usually a mess.

I was able to sit out the class and allowed to calm down until it was time to go home.

My mother didn't give me any trouble that day and for that I was thankful.

But what awaited me in the morning?

I returned to school the next day. I trod cautiously through the hallways, prepared to fight again. With each step I surveyed the territory, waiting for Donny and his goon friends to jump out and attack me.

I was astonished to find that they didn't. I was even more astonished to find that I was now some sort of a local hero. Word had spread about the fight. People who normally wouldn't speak to me were walking up and giving me High Fives. The name calling had stopped. I didn't see Donny himself that day, but I did see his "friends". They gave me new nicknames. Where as before I was "that nerd" or "geek". Now I was "The Fighter" or "The Brawler" depending on whom you asked. They would even brag to other people about how I had beaten up Donny in class. I was stunned to say the least.

I did run into Donny a day later. The Assistant Principal made him apologize and shake my hand to confirm that it was all over. I looked him dead in the eye as we shook hands. He smiled...honestly. There was no more mocking in his eyes. But there was something else there in it's place. Could it have been...respect? Whatever it was, I never had any trouble from him again.

Had peace been really attained?

This was enjoyable, but I expected my new found "glamour" to wear off after a week. Surprisingly enough, it didn't. My "fame" was there to stay. However, I was still distrusting.

You see, I had NEVER been popular and some of the same kids who had been ostracizing me on Monday, were now praising me on Tuesday. The Mob was fickle and I didn't trust any of these people. However, I was thankful for the new found peace and quiet.



The kicker for me was when one day, another kid decided to try and start a fight with me. Out of the blue, another guy (who had picked on me in the past but had never gotten physical) came to my defense and stopped him, threatening to fight him himself. The new guy looked dejected and walked away while my former enemy (so to speak), smiled at me and left.

Odd how humans are. No amount of talking had solved the problem, only brute force.

But why did this have to happen in the first place?

My inner dialogue had changed. Whereas before it was, "Please don't hurt me. Please just leave me alone." It was now, "I wish someone would mess with me now. I want someone to test me so I can enjoy wiping the floor with them."


I had always "turned the other cheek", but it wasn't until I started turning other people's cheeks (with punches), that I had all of the peace that I had always prayed for.



Bullies never pick on EVERYONE. There are some people that they'd never DREAM of messing with.

Why did it take brute force to solve the problem?

Because before I fought back, I was viewed as being weak and therefore an easy target.

Have you ever watched those Nature shows about the animals of the Serengeti?

What do Lions do? They hunt in a group to catch prey. But what type of prey do they generally go after?

Now here you may say, "Zebra, Gazelle, etc..." and you'd be right. But I'll narrow it down even further...

What type of Zebras and Gazelle's do they go after? The weak, The frail, the sickly, and the solitary.

Lions (or Group Predators period) generally target the prey that will give them the least amount of trouble...those less likely to put up a fight.

When was the last time you saw a single lion or Pride of lions go after an Adult Male Bull Elephant? Probably never. Lions will go after elephants, but usually only the young and/ or infirmed. Never the fully grown males. Why? Because they know they will probably die in the process...

Or at the very least be dealt a significant amount of pain or discomfort!

It's the same with human bullies. Bullies often target whomever is considered the weakest, the sickliest, the most alone.

And this is why I hate Bullies. They are cowards...always too afraid to fight someone who can/will defend themselves.

If bullies actually sought out strong opponents to fight, I might have respected them. But they don't. Bullies only go to where they can give pain. They never go to where they have a chance to receive it.

Now this was a story about childhood bullying...but what about adult bullying?

Adult Bullying plays out a little differently. Sometimes it is still physical, but other times the bullying can come verbally at home (via spouse, etc) or on the job.

How do you stop that? You can't necessarily physically fight these people, ( not always anyway;-)) because then you run the risk of being sued. However, you can fight them verbally and let them know that you aren't a pushover.

Any resistance is better then no resistance.

People only do what they think that they can get away with. As long as you allow something to happen, then you are saying that it is okay and acceptable.

If you are being bullied as an adult, you have to stand up and let them know what is acceptable and what isn't. Make them uncomfortable.

Teach people how to treat you.

If you only show them that you are willing to fight, most times that is enough. They are cowards and will only go after whom they believe is easy prey. Remember like the lions on the nature shows, they do not go after people who appear as if they will give them trouble. If they berate you, berate them right back. Make them uncomfortable and do not allow them to rest.

You need to change your inner dialogue.
Click here to quickly GAIN THE POWER to Stand up to Bullies.


Give them Hell and watch them scatter and be Silent.

All the best,

Tal Smith

PS.

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